


Fix Me

by zeropercent (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction, X Factor RPF
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Depression, M/M, Schmoop, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-02
Updated: 2012-03-02
Packaged: 2017-11-01 00:48:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/zeropercent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Liam’s good at pretending.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix Me

Liam’s good at pretending. He’s good at acting like there’s nothing wrong. His friends don’t know that he tears himself apart. Sometimes he wants to tell them, but maybe it’s better that they don’t know. He’s trained himself to be quiet at night, burying his face into the pillow and letting everything out when he’s sure the other guys are asleep, tears being soaked up by the cheap hotel pillowcases.

He thinks he’s pathetic sometimes. And maybe he really is. He misses home, misses his counselor, misses not having to hide things.

He feels the bed dip and he goes stiff. Warm breath ghosts over the nape of his neck and Louis’s voice whispers, “Liam, are you awake?” Liam doesn’t respond, hoping that Louis will go away. But Louis just sighs and wraps an arm around his waist, pressing himself up against Liam’s back. If Liam manages to fall asleep, maybe—

“I wish you wouldn’t cry.” His eyes widen and Louis reaches up, wiping at his tear stained face in the darkness. “I know you’re awake.” Liam wishes he could shrink away, disappear. Do something, _anything_ to avoid this moment. “I talked with your mum.” A sob escapes his mouth and Louis continues, “You don’t have to hide it. And I know I don’t know what it’s like, but I’m here. I’ll listen.”

Liam turns and buries his face against Louis’s chest, “Don’t think less of me.”

Louis places a hand on the back of his head, “I would never.” Liam lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, relaxing against Louis. “I love you. We all do, you know that, right?” Liam nods and Louis kisses his forehead. “Get some rest.”

X

Liam’s always the first one to wake up, so when he opens his eyes and sees Louis smiling at him, he’s a little taken by surprise. Louis says, “Let’s go outside,” getting out of bed.

Liam rubs his eyes as he follows him onto the balcony, quietly shutting the door behind him. Louis pulls him in close and Liam asks, “What?”

“Nothing.”

The wind messes up their hair and Louis looks at Liam, leaning in and pressing their lips together. At first, Liam doesn’t respond, slightly stunned by Louis’s actions. But then he just hooks his arms around Louis’s neck and kisses him back.

“You’re beautiful.” Louis nuzzles his nose against Liam’s jaw, humming softly. Liam’s still sleep-warm despite the cold air, and Louis runs his hands up and down his sides, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. Liam feels his body start to shake, as it does when he’s going to lose it. Louis mumbles, “Don’t cry. I’m here.”

“Louis.”

“Shh,” he lets Liam clutch his shirt, “it’s okay.”

X

When Liam exits the bathroom, he doesn’t expect all of his band mates to run up to him and engulf him in a huge hug. He ends up with his face squished against Louis’s neck. “Guys!”

Louis’s laugh is loud and clear in his ear, and Liam shuts his eyes and says, “Thanks, guys.”

When they all let go, Louis is still there. Liam asks, “Do they know?”

“Some of it.”

“Okay.”

Louis ruffles his hair, “You’ll tell them eventually, right?”

“Yeah.” Liam gets hit in the head with a pillow and looks over at Niall, “Oh, you’re gonna get it.”

X

Louis didn’t know that Liam was so broken. It’s quite astonishing, really. He runs his fingers over the scars on Liam’s thighs, pressing kisses to his cheek. “I’m glad you trust me this much.” Louis’s glad Liam has opened up to him.

“Not-so-baby steps.”

Louis nods and presses his nose gently against Liam’s jaw, “Not-so-baby steps.”

X

Louis tries to fix him. He lies in bed with Liam at night, listening to his fears, his deepest thoughts. He lets Liam cry into the crook of his neck while he tells him that everything will be fine, that he’s loved.

Liam seems to improve, as weeks go on. Less tears run down his face and he curls himself around Louis when they go to sleep. Louis loves seeing the way his eyes start to sparkle in a whole new way, loves seeing the way his whole face lights up when he smiles.

More things change between the two of them. Liam’s more affectionate, and Louis tries to steal a kiss every chance he gets. Liam stares at Louis with a look in his eyes that could only be described as _love_. And when Louis looks at Liam, he can’t help but think, _mine mine mine_.

X

“Louis,” Liam cups his face in his hands, “thank you.”

Louis nips at his jaw and simply says, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Louis slips his hands down Liam’s back, resting them above the waistband of his sweatpants. Liam places his leg in between Louis’s thighs, getting closer.

“If I wanted you, would you let me have you?” Liam nods and Louis asks, “What about right now, that we’re alone?”

“I’d say yes.”

Louis grins and places his hands on Liam’s waist, pushing him down and straddling his hips. He rubs his cock through the fabric and tugs on Liam’s pants, bringing his boxers down along with them. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

He rids himself of his own clothes, pulling off his shirt while Liam does the same.

“Hey.”

Liam grins, “Hey.”

Louis kisses a line down his chest, snaking his hand around Liam’s cock. Liam arches up and puts a hand on the back of Louis’s head, toying with his hair. “Oh god, Louis.” Louis presses kisses to his scars, slowly going over each one. He hums and takes Liam’s cock into his mouth, running his tongue over the slit. Liam fists his hands in his hair, “Shit!”

Louis grips Liam’s thighs, loving the feel of his soft skin under his fingertips. He lets Liam push up into his mouth, but only a little. Liam lets out a whimper and Louis looks at him, sliding his hands up to his hips.

It’s sloppy and _fuck_ , that shouldn’t turn Liam on as much as it does. Louis pulls off, his lips shiny with spit and precome. Liam urges him up and kisses him like he’s air, like Louis is the only thing in the world that makes sense anymore. _I need you_.

Louis sucks Liam’s lower lip into his mouth, earning a moan from the other boy. Louis ruts down against Liam’s thigh, his dick painfully hard from lack of attention. Liam trails a finger along the length of his cock, making Louis shut his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

Louis whispers, “Come on, Liam,” his voice oddly deep. He bites Liam’s neck and Liam gasps, arching his back off the bed and coming over his stomach. “There you go.” He cards his fingers through Liam’s hair, watching the flush in his cheeks slowly fade.

Liam goes to return the favor, his hand closing around Louis’s cock. Louis’s hips stutter and he groans, burying his face into the pillow beside Liam’s head. Liam whispers encouragements into his ear and Louis feels the familiar pool of warmth in his belly. He comes with Liam’s name on his tongue, panting desperately.

They lie there for a moment, sticky and sated, before Louis rolls over and rubs himself on the sheets.

Liam makes a face, “That’s just...”

“Gross? I know.”

Liam laughs and cuddles up against Louis. Louis kisses his hair and Liam says, “You’re—”

Louis interjects, “Amazing? Lovely? Perfect? The best significant other to ever walk the planet?”

Liam scoffs, “You need to work on your pillow talk.”

Louis sighs dramatically, “Oh Liam, you’re the best! I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard in my life! Now, how much should I pay you?” Liam jokingly slaps his shoulder and Louis grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together. He lowers his voice and says, “I love you,” as if it’s a secret.

Liam gives him a smile, “I love you too.”


End file.
